This Week: Liberties Have Been Taken
Well, it's been a strange week. It started off with a late Sunday night at work. Noah and Alec had a pet garden snake, which they named Sneaky. We played with it and played Gamecube. Then we walked down to Main Street for some ice cream. On the way back, I was hit by a random water baloon. I haven't decided for sure whether or not I was hit on purpose. Part of me thinks that it was ana ccident, and the 24 year old bachelors were aiming for a patch of field behind me. The other part of me feels like a target. The metaphor between me and a target does not come often, but when it does it is pointed and swift, like the arrow designed to hit one.
The next day it was off to the Driveway of Fire, which had suffered a cancellation scare. The people were sparce, but the company good. Our family lately seems to come in droves, and we consisted of half the people there. For some reason, child molestation came up. Everyone was participating in the conversation when it reached a halt. The question that stopped it: why is there a virtual 0% "recovery" rate for convicted child molestors? I let the silence hang for a moment and then ventured, "I know why I think that's so," I said, "Because pedophilia is a sexual orientation. I really believe that." I was surprised at the ease with which the words seemed to fill their thoughts. Especially my dad, who the more I get to know him, has several qualities that I admire, not the least of which is his willingness to give most any idea a chance. Try it on for size. Whether it be true or not, I think most people agreed with me. My dad then said that it still did not explain by heterosexual (adult) sex offenders had a lower turnover rate than child molestors. To this I replied that it was because heterosexual male offenders can have sex with their desired partners without it being an offense, whereas with pedophiles, this is not the case. He didn't find any flaws in my argument that he let me know of. Somewhere during the brief conversation I also drew the distinction, or at least tried to get across, between pedophiles and child molestors, which is one that I find vital. I left early, missing the fireworks, because I had been out of town and working all last week. I was exhausted and had work in the morning.
On Thursday night I had a long talk with Erica. I'm not sure how it went, and perhaps some of our problems are irreconcilable.
The next day I found out that Jared and Stacey had moved the originially slated month of December for their wedding, to August. For those of you who do not know, August is next month. This came as quite a shock and the pitt in my stomach grew larger. It's mostly gone now, so that's a good thing. Our reading group went well. We talked about Marz and Zizek. We focused around the motif of the Tibetan Prayer Wheel mentioned in the Zizek article.
Yesterday I pulled an all-nighter for my work. Six hours of lasertag, five hours of swimming in 98' heat, two pieces of pizza, four sodas, twenty-million questions, and 22 hours of work later, I headed home. My gas tank was reading below empty, and I hoped it would get me to the bank so I could deposit my check and have money to fill the tank. It made it there, but as I was at the ATM it started smoking. I looked down at my temperature gage to see that it was in the red zone. I pulled the car over in the bank parking lot and popped the hood. It was smoking pretty badly. I let it cool off and then drove across the street to a gas station. I bought some coolant and oil (which was practically gone). I hadn't been able to get an oil change, since I had no money, and this is I think why I had the problem. I hope it is not a bigger problem than this.
I've been pretty slack on the self-reflection lately, and I want to try to get back in the groove. I've never been great at self-evaluation, always preferring to evaluate others, but it almost always pays off and I want to reap the rewards. Part of this feeling stems from my conversation with Erica, but it is also something I've known I need to do for a long time. I think quite a bit about what I want to do, but I think it's time to focus on who I am, the person I want to be, and how I'm going to get there.
The next day it was off to the Driveway of Fire, which had suffered a cancellation scare. The people were sparce, but the company good. Our family lately seems to come in droves, and we consisted of half the people there. For some reason, child molestation came up. Everyone was participating in the conversation when it reached a halt. The question that stopped it: why is there a virtual 0% "recovery" rate for convicted child molestors? I let the silence hang for a moment and then ventured, "I know why I think that's so," I said, "Because pedophilia is a sexual orientation. I really believe that." I was surprised at the ease with which the words seemed to fill their thoughts. Especially my dad, who the more I get to know him, has several qualities that I admire, not the least of which is his willingness to give most any idea a chance. Try it on for size. Whether it be true or not, I think most people agreed with me. My dad then said that it still did not explain by heterosexual (adult) sex offenders had a lower turnover rate than child molestors. To this I replied that it was because heterosexual male offenders can have sex with their desired partners without it being an offense, whereas with pedophiles, this is not the case. He didn't find any flaws in my argument that he let me know of. Somewhere during the brief conversation I also drew the distinction, or at least tried to get across, between pedophiles and child molestors, which is one that I find vital. I left early, missing the fireworks, because I had been out of town and working all last week. I was exhausted and had work in the morning.
On Thursday night I had a long talk with Erica. I'm not sure how it went, and perhaps some of our problems are irreconcilable.
The next day I found out that Jared and Stacey had moved the originially slated month of December for their wedding, to August. For those of you who do not know, August is next month. This came as quite a shock and the pitt in my stomach grew larger. It's mostly gone now, so that's a good thing. Our reading group went well. We talked about Marz and Zizek. We focused around the motif of the Tibetan Prayer Wheel mentioned in the Zizek article.
Yesterday I pulled an all-nighter for my work. Six hours of lasertag, five hours of swimming in 98' heat, two pieces of pizza, four sodas, twenty-million questions, and 22 hours of work later, I headed home. My gas tank was reading below empty, and I hoped it would get me to the bank so I could deposit my check and have money to fill the tank. It made it there, but as I was at the ATM it started smoking. I looked down at my temperature gage to see that it was in the red zone. I pulled the car over in the bank parking lot and popped the hood. It was smoking pretty badly. I let it cool off and then drove across the street to a gas station. I bought some coolant and oil (which was practically gone). I hadn't been able to get an oil change, since I had no money, and this is I think why I had the problem. I hope it is not a bigger problem than this.
I've been pretty slack on the self-reflection lately, and I want to try to get back in the groove. I've never been great at self-evaluation, always preferring to evaluate others, but it almost always pays off and I want to reap the rewards. Part of this feeling stems from my conversation with Erica, but it is also something I've known I need to do for a long time. I think quite a bit about what I want to do, but I think it's time to focus on who I am, the person I want to be, and how I'm going to get there.
posted by KP @ 4:12 PM
8 Comments:
Good call Katie, I could use a bit of that myself, oh wait, a whole truckload. Good luck =)
P.S. Great sentence
"The metaphor between me and a target does not come often, but when it does it is pointed and swift, like the arrow designed to hit one."
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Pedophile =
an adult who is sexually attracted to children
Child Molester =
a person who abuses a child sexually
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
There is a group that claims that it is legitimate for adults to have relationships with children, it's called NAMBLA. This link is to some information that was part of the reading in a social problems class and tells some of the common motives for child molesters. Read the "The Johns" section especially the last 7 paragraphs in that section.
There was also a educational film recently put out that was focused mainly on homesexual relationships, but also pushed for freedom of ANY type of sexual relations including those with children. The film was one of the most depressing and frightening films I've ever witnessed. It seemd that the difference between men and animals is lessening as we give into carnal lusts and pretend not to have the intricate brain network that allows us to control our thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Cat,
Do I think there is "danger" in accepting it as a legitimate sexual orientation? Sure, but I don't think that's the right question to ask. Most important is IF it is 'legitimate'. And if it is, then we can't pretend that it isn't just because we find that "safe".
And I must disagree with you that what follows from this is the acceptance of rapists and murderers. Again, I fall back on my distinction between child molestors and pedophiles. I'm not saying that we should accept child molestors. Just as I tolerate heterosexual males, but not rapists. In both cases, consent has been taken away from one of the parties, and this is the crime. This is where the parallel to murdering lies.
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